Epilogue: Fantasy Versus Reality



I don't know about you, but when I was a kid, my fantasy world was real. I was a Pirate, a Spaceman, a Soldier; and I fought epic battles against impossible odds and usually won. My friends and I created worlds in which we could act out whatever it was we dreamt about, even collaborating as to what kind of world, what kind of battles and all the stuff we needed. Our weapons were whatever was at hand, brooms, sticks, magic powers, hub caps. You name it, we used it. And our neighbourhood was the canvas upon which we created our worlds and stories.

As I grew up, my fantasy world changed somewhat. Friends came and went, locations changed, ideas merged and changed. I learned to draw, and so my stories began to materialize on paper, both as comic books and as written stories. The worlds were still every bit as real to me. The stories every bit as vital to my identity as ever they were before.

And as I matured, some of those fantasies became reality; I learned to build a story for real, one I could actually live, either as an artist or as a musician. Ultimately, I dropped out of art college and music became my life, my career, my passion. From that point forward, every job I worked, every gig I played, every dollar I earned, was all to further my musical life. My fantasies about music, born with the introduction of rock n roll and the Beatles, were beginning to become reality for me.

It was an incredible and exciting time for me when I left college behind and stepped wholly into the world of the musical life. And I found myself face to face with a whole host of realities.

The first reality: Life in music is hard!

My earliest efforts in music were not entirely fruitful. Multiple bands, membership changes, terrible venues, all the stuff you hear about, and all part of the process, the thing we call paying your dues. And some of the musicians I played with weren't even serious about making music their life. How could this be? How can you be in a band and not be serious about your music?

The second reality: Getting a good gig is hard!

It doesn't matter how good you are, how good your band is. You have to prove your worth before people will begin to open up and give you the opportunity to demonstrate you deserve the "break" they're giving you. Blow it, and you're through...at least until you redeem yourself, your band. And that can take a very, very long time.

You are going to have to "tweak" the band until it is right. This means hard decisions about members, too. Sometimes it is the only solution. Sometimes it is the worst decision you can make. The "magic" cannot be created, not in the sense you think. It can be guided, even encouraged. But if musicians just do not gel together, do not fall into the pocket and groove, the problem has to be figured out and a solution has to be found. Sometimes, it's just a matter of someone, or everyone, taking lessons and learning stuff they do not yet know.

But ego gets in the way for some. And they won't budge on it. I confronted this in a band member more than once. In one case, the member said they would take lessons to improve. But they never did. I found myself constantly fixing things in their parts they should have already known - even heard - didn't work, until I got tired of it. So, because of this and a couple other factors, I let them go.

The third reality: You're playing gigs, but apart from that small following, creating a larger audience is hard!

With so many choices, so many bands making music (or people who think they can), attention for a following, creating a fan base, is very difficult. People have only so much money to spend on music. Again, you have to prove you are worthy of them spending their money and time on your band. That takes time and a lot of gigs to make happen. And this assumes you are playing/writing music that people actually want to hear.

In small towns, this is especially hard because you really have to travel - or move - in order to expand your audience, to become more well known in your county, state, region. If you move, you will go to a bigger city, one that present real opportunities. But, sometimes a small town can be a mecca for music. So size isn't always the defining factor. It's the music scene. You have to be where the music is fed and encouraged by the locals.

If you like the small town life, then you face the fact of touring, which is to say that you have to look at getting some kind of agent/agency or manager to represent you and have them shop you to the clubs and venues that cater to your style of music. The more versatile you are, the broader the range of gigs you can accept. The truth is, having an agency handle your bookings ultimately will be worth the expense they charge for getting you in the door - especially if they get you in the good venues.

The fourth reality: Getting people to love your music is hard!

Writing good songs is not easy, not really. I mean, you can bang out a song in no time at all. But that doesn't mean it's another "Stairway" or "Smoke On the Water". What it means is that you can write a tune. Learning to write great songs takes time. You may get lucky early on and create a few truly wonderful tunes. But to consistently write good songs is not something that happens easily. Just as with everything else, you have to learn how to do this, how to write good songs people actually want to hear, and even buy.

And then you have to learn to play these songs consistently well every performance! Imagine that! People expect you to be great. Look, they want you to be great, it's what they're looking for when they go see a band they've never heard before. And hopefully there's a little "buzz" about the band that brought them in. If you are good, they will tell their friends. And if you suck when they bring their friends to see you, well, you've not only lost the friends, but you might have also lost the person who brought them.

You don't have to sell out to create good music. You can remain true to your "style" or "genre" of music, and still write songs that aren't crass and commercial, pandering to the "ear candy" and "flavour of the month" crowd, who are fickle enough and who don't follow bands - they follow trends. But - and this is important - these kinds of people do buy music... a lot of music. Win them over, and you will do pretty well. Just don't let them dictate what you do next.

The fifth reality: keeping an audience, a fan base, enjoying long term success is hard!

If you want longevity in your career, there are only three ways to do it:

a) you have to really understand trends (like David Bowie in the 1970s), anticipate the next trend and be there, ready with the tunes, when that trend hits
b) become a song writer; learn to write songs in multiple genres, recognizing that maybe the "band life" is not your thing; good songs always find a market; singers who do not write need songs to sing, and producers are always looking for great songs to record
c) focus on creating meaningful songs that speak to the heart of everyone, even if you have to perform as a solo artist to get them out there; no matter the genre, these songs always find a following.

In addition to this, I have found that bands - musicians - which are committed to the long haul, that exercise patience and learn from mistakes, build on successes, and which refuse to quit, are who remain, that actually succeed and attain some degree, or all of the original fantasy/dream that fueled the drive to go after it.

You can have all the fantasies you want about a life in music - or whatever life you envision. They're not necessarily unhealthy - when recognized as dreams and wishfulness. They are not what you build upon. They are the goals. You cannot confuse the function and purpose of fantasies and substitute them for reality, as though to do so will somehow make them come to pass. It doesn't work that way.

Fantasies are daydreams and wishes you have, even desires. But reality is where you operate. Reality is where the hard work takes place to make the dreams and hopes and, yes, even the fantasies in life come true.

A very long time ago, I was taught a valuable lesson. A counsellor asked me a question. Do you have dreams or goals? I didn't understand what he was getting at. So, recognizing that, he said that dreams are just that, dreams. They have no substance. But goals are things you are committed to attaining, and so are working toward. He said if you aren't working to make your dreams a reality, that's all they are. Dreams that you are striving to attain are now projects, and have a foundation in reality because you're actually doing something to make them come true. You are working to achieve the dream, to bring it to life.

The landscape of the music business is littered with the refuse of broken dreams, unrealized fantasies, failed efforts and unrealistic expectations of the musicians who believed all they had to do was learn to play, write some tunes, and the world would flock to their shows, record labels would fight over who gets the privilege of representing them, and releasing their music to an adoring world.

I would rather have failed to achieve my dream, having poured all my life, money, time, effort and resources into striving toward making it a reality, than to have sat there in a dead end job, dreaming about being a rock star, a recording artist, a professional musician, but doing nothing to bring it to pass.

I remember the film, "Bill & Ted". Their band, "Wyld Stallions" was a dream. They talked about it, had the gear, but couldn't play to save their lives. They were so busy living in a fantasy about what they would do, they never actually did anything substantive to make it a reality. This is where so many people live, who want their dreams and fantasies to become real. They live in that cloud, but won't clear their minds and hearts long enough to do the real, hard work that is necessary for any dream or fantasy to become reality.

In the end, Bill and Ted, sitting on stage at the high school, having just finished another adventure, look at each other and say something really profound: "I guess we should learn how to play these things", or words to that effect. They jump into the phone booth, go into the future, spend four years learning from Edward Van Halen, come back to just a minute after they departed, and then put on a great show.

They figured it out. Without hard work, fantasies and dreams remain exactly that, fantasies and dreams.

Yes, you need to risk it all. But if it is really what you want, then such a risk is worth it. But you have to do the hard work, you have to learn what it takes to be able to have the potential for success. Success is never guaranteed, even after years of hard work. But those who persevere and fix the problems, learn their lessons, and improve their abilities, which creates more opportunity for the effort, will succeed.

Just remember this: success is subjective.

To succeed does not mean you get the ultimate brass ring, the big record contract, the arena sized gigs. Success is different for everyone. And at some point along the way, you recognize when you have "arrived" at the goal you really wanted all along. For many people, it is to be successful enough to be happy.

And "happy" is all that really matters in life.

I am one of the fortunate few people who survived, who succeeded, who found what they sought, who reached the goal, without losing my humanity or sense of humour. My fantasies, my dreams, came true. I've achieved my happiness. Do I want more? It would be nice to have greater success, sure. But with greater success comes greater risk, and in some ways, greater sacrifice. If it happens, it will happen on my terms. If it doesn't, I'm okay with that.

And, yes, there were sacrifices, a lot of them. Some I would rather not have had to make. But in the end, I have no regrets for my decisions, my choices, and the outcome that resulted from them.

Be careful what you wish for. Sometimes those fantasies should remain just that. Not everyone is cut out for a life in music. I've been clear all through these columns. The music business is not easy, not pretty (except on stage), and very, very difficult. You better want it, and be willing to do the hard work and make the all too necessary sacrifices you will face - just be careful which sacrifices you do decide to make. I wasn't willing to make certain sacrifices, and so didn't get the quick success they would have brought. The price was too high. Besides, I eventually got there on my own terms.

And if you are one of the fortunate few you, too, will find the lifelong success those of us who have survived and thrived in making this life in music our business.

Just don't sacrifice your soul in the process.

* * * * * * *

I hope you have enjoyed this column as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I have tried to be honest and forthright in speaking about the creative process, the mind and heart of a musician, the life, the hopes, dreams, fantasies, successes and failures, fears, hopes and perils of this life.

And I pray you find yourself in pursuit of the dream, whatever form it may be, whether in music, science, art, or other field of life. And I hope you have gained some insights during the journey this column has taken you upon. You may not always agree, you may not find any of it useful, but I hope it was at least entertaining enough to keep you interested.

Be well, be hungry, be motivated, determined and never quit. But most of all, strive to be happy in your life because, in the end, that is one of the few areas in life where compromise nor sacrifice can or should be made.

Thank you.


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