Nobody cares about this topic, so why bother...
That is an example of apathy, the killer of motivation and drive, the destroyer of dedication and determination.
And it affects every single one of us, to a greater or lesser degree.
The question to ask of yourself is simple: Does apathy impact my desire and my goals enough to derail, even a little, my efforts and work to achieve the results
I hope to accomplish, the life I wish to have?
Don't get me wrong, we all experience a little apathy from time to time. But it is when apathy begins to occupy more "space" than it should, when it begins to affect
whether or not we push through that moment of "hopelessness" and get on with the work we want to engage, that we should begin to wonder. If we try a little less hard,
push with a little less effort, take a longer break than normal, that is when we should be hearing alarm bells in our head. That is when we should begin to question
if apathy is setting up shop in our lives.
People who work in jobs they didn't choose, for whatever reason, that have become their career by circumstance, and who try to make the best of it, these are most
prone to apathy affecting them. They tried when young to get into the field of work they dreamed, but met with obstacles (real or imagined), found themselves to be
wholly unsuited for the work and rigors required to do the work. Any number of factors can derail the "dream" of getting into the career you want.
Kids traditionally grew up, when I was a boy, to want to be firemen or policemen, even military men or astronauts. As we grew up, we found other interests and
sometimes our dreams changed.
I'm a child of the 1950s, born in 1954. I remember playing army alot. I remember learning to draw, and that took over from everything. Then I began to play music.
Music became an even bigger part of my life. And I began to move in the dual direction with Art and Music being my major and minor. I no longer wanted to be any of
the things my friends were still dreaming of becoming... not even an astronaut.
As I matured and music became even a greater part of my life after school, I met other people who aspired to be musicians, too. But one by one they began to drop out
of the "running". One by one they began to let go of the dream and become more engaged in the "real world" of business and finance, of corporate America. They didn't
even work to have their own businesses, though a few actually did strive to do that for a while.
And after ten years in the real world (after high school), I had dropped out of Art college and was left pretty much alone among my friends and musical colleagues,
the last man standing who was still pursuing their dream, which for me was a life in music full time. And I eventually lost touch with virtually all of them. They
eventually all married, had families and drifted into that life, that aspect of the American Dream. Their focus changed and so did their goals. And I eventually
moved away, too.
What does this have to do with apathy? It's the "giving up" part. Some surely should have given up. They had limited talent and got as far as their talent could take
them. Even with lessons, they just didn't have the aptitude to get past the things that challenged them, that prevented them from getting to the next level of ability,
to play better and better. But others gave up because, as you begin to work at your craft, this business of music, it actually does become a business - your business.
And it takes time and effort to keep it on track.
It became "work" for them. It put a sour taste in their mouths, metaphorically speaking. Music wasn't supposed to be a lot of work. It was supposed to be fun -
always! And drugs contributed to their apathy about "taking care of business", to make sure they were continuing to improve and grow as musicians, and to expand
the venues beyond merely a regional presence - essential if you want to have longevity in this business. They got too comfortable with what they had and lost interest
in growing "bigger".
So they gave up trying. It wasn't worth the amount of work required of them. So they became disheartened, which is another more subtle form of apathy.
Some couldn't hack touring for months on end. Some found the money to be too little for the amount of work required of them. So, to be fair, in some cases it wasn't
so much the apathy as it was the "starving artist" syndrome - for real, not a romantic idea anymore. They were living it and it wasn't fun for them. And it was also
somewhat an insecure life, too.
A life in music cannot be about fame and fortune because very rarely do we achieve either, let alone both! You have to be in music for the love of the music, not
the paycheck or royalties, or adoring fans, or anything external.
When you let the dream die, it is hard, very hard. And the longer you have been pursuing the dream, whether Music, Art, or whatever it is that is your passion, when
it all comes crashing down around you, for whatever reason, it is a mortal blow to the soul.
But you have to give up in order for that to actually happen. If you go years in pursuit of the dream, and during that time do not find yourself inadequate, incapable,
or unsuited to the task, and yet still find yourself failing to succeed, it is because somewhere within you, something "died", some part of you gave up wanting it
as much as you did when you first began the journey. That's the appearance of apathy, and the affect of apathy.
On some level, you just don't find the value in doing it any longer.
This is a difficult admission. It is a difficult step because, once you take it, in most cases, there is no going back.
So, then, how do you fight apathy? How do you keep the dream alive?
Two words: Set goals.
You don't have to create an elaborate spread sheet, detailing every step of the process. You don't have to wax philosophic about the journey. All that stuff is a
complete waste of time in practical terms.
Start simple. Define your specific goals. For example, with musical stuff, here's a guide:
Goals for this week:
It doesn't have to be longer or more complicated than that. Three things for the week. Then, once you've worked on that list for the day, go ahead and just have fun
for the rest of your daily play time.
The next week, pick a different scale, pick a different song - even a new song - and pick a new thing or pick another thing you need to know better.
This way, you are creating easily managed goals. And you are improving your abilities by narrowing your focus to a few things, not the totality of music theory and
technique. Remove the overwhelming, the things that can create and re enforce the apathetic response.
Remind yourself that it's okay to take more time to learn something that isn't simple (in the "big picture" view). Remind yourself that the people you admire have
spent a lifetime learning, too. They do it professionally, so it is what they do every day. You don't have that luxury. So give yourself a break on the expectations
and accept that some things are going to take as long as they take.
Another thing you can do is remove the frustration factors. This one really contributes to apathy and hopelessness. The "I'll never get this" response to a difficult
technique or song.
Don't work on stuff to the point of frustration. Work it out a few times, don't spend endless time on any one thing. Ten minutes or so will do it. Then move on to the
next thing on your list. The idea is to absorb as much as you can reasonably expect for a given day - you're not going to "crack the code" in one day,
so should not expect that result.
Where your career, the "get out and play" part is concerned, again, set goals. They don't have to be elaborate, they just have to be realistic and easy at first.
Career goals for this week:
If you are a solo or band performer, it doesn't matter. If you are doing original material, make sure it is tight and without "loose ends". And try to keep your
set to a reasonable length. If they give you 30 minutes, play 25 minutes. Don't oversell yourself or your band. Let the music sell you. If it's good, people will
let you know, not from the applause, but afterward when they ask where you're playing next. Be ready with an answer.
These principles apply in all areas of life. You're not going to solve life problems, love problems, career problems, in one day. Nor should you expect to; it isn't
reasonable. Recognize the challenges you face, prioritize them, and spend some time each day considering how to meet them, one at a time, one day at a time.
Think of it as a kind of Twelve Step program. People in such programs, for drugs, alcohol or whatever, recognize their problems, the things that put them in that
deep hole of self destruction and apathetic response to solving the problems, are going to take time to overcome. It's going to take time to find a workable
solution, to implement that solution, to even attain the early successes. And they do it one step at a time, one day at a time.
If you just don't care about anything, that apathy will destroy everything. The sense of hopelessness is what creates the apathy, the "why bother", the "I'll never
get it", or "I'll never succeed" responses that discourage us from even trying.
I determined long ago that, in spite of what others might say, in spite of even my own feelings (which can themselves be very deceiving) about my circumstances and
my situation, I determined I would keep fighting for what I want in life. For me, it is one simple thing: to be a professional musician.
Beyond that, I do not put conditions, I do not elaborate.
I've suffered setbacks over the years, even my own self-induced, self-destructive behaviours in years past, struggling with drug addiction - which caused me to make
a series of horrible career and business decisions that literally ruined my early music career.
And, yes, I went through various periods of apathy and hopelessness, wondering if the fight was worth it, whether I would ever succeed.
I succeeded. And then I stumbled and found myself on the "outside" again. But I fought back, I got back up off the proverbial ground and began to step forward again,
into the life I knew I wanted, knew I was best suited to live. And I succeeded a second time, older, wiser and more sure of my decisions.
They say we do not learn from our successes. And I think I have to agree. It is when we fail that we learn the deeper lessons of what is required for true, lasting
and satisfying success in life, regardless of the choices of career.
And when you recognize that apathy and hopelessness have no place in the success formulae we adopt or create, and then follow, when we employ the tools we learn,
acquire or create, which will ensure eventual success (not merely potential or possible), it is then we can truly say that we are on the road called Success.
You see, success is not a destination. It is a journey that never ends. And there will always be pitfalls, distractions, obstacles and other things that will stand
between you and what you want in life.
You've heard the "life is a journey" thing before, sure. But it is true, nonetheless, even if you don't like it. It is the greatest journey, the only journey. And
what you choose to do, what you choose to be, on that path will define and determine the shape and form of your success.
Just avoid any signposts that say something like: "Apathy, next three exits", or "Welcome to Apathy".
Not today. Not today.